The Comfort In Her Hatred
by xoxIcing
Summary: A post confession Helga and Arnold fic set a couple of weeks later. Just as much as Helga torments him to cover up her true feelings, Arnold uses this to keep him from realizing his own. please R&R XD
1. Chapter 1

Nope - I do not own Hey Arnold or its characters. I would like to thank Craig Bartlett for creating such a fascinating and amazing cartoon. I would like to thank Nickelodeon for airing the series ... even though it could have gone longer than it did.

heh. hope you enjoy the story x - please R&R.

**Chapter One**

_Despite the rain slowly subsided, it still drenched on the yellow mass of unkept hair on his football shaped head as the girl, who tormented him shamelessly, revealed to him as "Deepvoice."_

_He was taken aback by her determination to shield herself from him. Confusion made its presence known why the girl, who made it known she was ecstatic to have the neighborhood sold, risked her life for his cause._

_His questioning for her reasons made her rattle. A slew of half-baked excuses piling one after the other until finally, like the twist off the cap of a soda bottle after being shaken, she blurted the sentence that threw him off – yet at the same time, made completely sense:_

_"That's right, hairboy, I mean, criminy!" she finally snapped. "What are you supposed to do when someone you love is in trouble?"_

_"Love?" was his response._

_Instantly, she rambled – confessing to him how she'd stalked him, closet-hidden shrines and volumes of poetry books dedicated to him. He backed away from her, taking in every confession yet not knowing what to make of it._

_Until finally – her lips met his._

_His head was swarming with incomplete thoughts and puzzle pieces, making absolutely no sense at that point._

_Their lips parted when he just had to ask her to repeat her words, looking for more confirmation as though the kiss wasn't proof enough._

_She did. Alas, she did._

_He managed to escape from her kisses, yet unwilling to completely pull away from her. He could have left her up there as the clock ticked down to the seconds of his neighborhood's demolish – could have gone on without her, finish the mission with only her guidance._

_But he didn't. Or perhaps, he couldn't._

_Perhaps, he also, somewhere somehow, also love He –_

"Hey Arnold! Hey Arnold! Hey Arnold!"

Arnold woke up with a start from the crazy yet vivid memory that the summer had brought him. And now, the summer was over and school was starting on that day. It dawned on Arnold that it had been a couple of weeks since their victory against the corporation; it had been weeks since Helga's confession.

_Her confession_

He groaned when her passionate declarations played back in his head, despite her taking it back a couple of hours later. Somehow, when she took back what she said – it was to save her face. It seemed like it. It did.

"Arnold!" he scolded himself as he walked towards the bus stop, "I told you to stop thinking about it."

Its – Helga! It's unlikely that she loves him! She's Helga! She's one of the boys! She hadn't said anything all summer and, constantly went back to teasing him. Despite now, he could hear the slight affection in her tone whenever she called him, "Football head" – but either ways, her confession didn't mean anything.

It was said under the heat of the intense moment.

He could face her today, like he had done before. With no awkwardness. Absolutely no awkwardness.

But it had crossed Arnold's mind that one of the reasons Helga had took back her confession – was simply because she knew Arnold wasn't ready for her yet.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Helga's slowly opened her eyes as the sun cast its morning shine to her room. Her face was stretch in a smile from the dream where Arnold had returned her feelings – it was a recurring dream funny enough even though in real life, he was merely confused.

The smile quickly wiped off her face as she recalled she took it back once the frenzy was over. True, she cannot deny her feelings that had been building up for so long – but she did blurt it out in the frenzied heat of the moment.

She then realized it was the also the first day of the fifth grade – the first time she and Arnold would see each other since the crazy day. She spent a good enough deal of avoiding him all summer but not when they would be in the same class.

What on earth was she gonna do?

She dragged her feet towards her closet that housed her shrine for her beloved.

"Oh Arnold," she sighed, "the light of my dark life. I eagerly wait to see your shining face yet am frightened for how you will treat me.

I am a fool for not standing by what I said. But your good heart always looks through my façade. If only you would look harder, break my porcelain shield and pull me in for the kiss I've waited so long for you to give me. I pray one day you will feel the same way about me. One day you shall be the one to bare your soul to me. I shall wait for you, my beloved, I shall wait."

Helga sighed as she walked out of her closet while grabbing her pink dress and white shirt.

It wasn't that hard thinking about their roller coaster of a relationship they had. The epitome of Love and Hate.

She had always come close to telling Arnold, whether it was careless or deliberate, how she felt about him yet somehow always managed to retract them.

Her little pink book – she torn away the page where she had wrote her name.  
Her monitor lizard ate her parrot before it said her name after a midnight poem she made up.  
Her locket – she stole it back at the nick of time before he opened the clasp.  
The tape from the dentist office – she stole it back too in time.

She had kissed him in two occasions: Once as Juliet in the school play and another during the taping of Babewatch when she and Arnold won the Sandcastle-making competition.

She had helped him when he needed it the most:  
Giving up her Nancy Spumoni boots to find Mr. Hyunh's Daughter for Christmas  
Funding for their class float – based on his design  
Dug through garbage for his lost hat  
Exposing Summer for the trash that she was  
Hearing him out as he questioned his feelings for Ruth and Lila dumping him  
Indirectly broke upLila and Arnie – even though Lila was supposed to break it off for Arnold

She had even hinted to Arnold her true feelings as Cecile during Valentine's Day.

And now – she could add risking her life to save the neighborhood he loved, kissed him on the rooftop and, more importantly, confessed to him her true feelings.

And they could be retracted now – because they both agreed that it was crazy back there.

He couldn't seriously be this blind.

Do the spitballs and the taunts easily overshadow everything she had done for him?

But then again, she had done almost everything in secrecy – she had no one to blame but herself.

She pulled out her locket and sighed at it just so, knowing that she could possibly admit that the so-called heat of the moment had been built up since pre-school.

A smile suddenly stretched across her face when she thought of the only thing that could give her hope…  
The small smiles exchanged  
Their knowing glances  
The exasperated "Helga" after she tells him something crazy.  
**Their dance during April Fool's Day **.

As Helga fixed her lunch, knowing her mom was dozing off somewhere in the house, she wondered how would she treat him.

Will she still continue with the taunting or, simply, tone down with the teasing?

Arnold now knows her secret so it seemed pointless, really. Perhaps he had accepted her feelings over the weeks since the confession had passed.

But then again, he could also take comfort in her hatred…

Simply because, he couldn't accept that she could be the one for him.

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Thanks for the reviews from the last chapter. I apologize if this chapter isnt so exciting or whatnot but well, cant have Arnold's perspective without showing Helga's as well.

please R&R! **AND SAVE THE JUNGLE MOVIE!**


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thanks so much for the feedback XD

and those who are reading - please review as well XD

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**Chapter Three**

Like a bad record player, Arnold's thoughts followed him as he walked out of the room and towards the kitchen. He took a seat besides his grandfather, Phil, and helped himself to some pancakes his grandmother, Gertie, surprisingly got right.

"I thought we would be having sushi," Arnold said, a little surprised.

Grandpa Phil chuckled, "And why would you think that?"

On cue, Grandma Gertie entered in her Japanese kimono and bowed to her grandson.

"That's why," said Arnold.

"Pookie!" Phil said in surprised. "What in tarnations are you dressed like that for?"

"Flag day."

"Flag day?" Phil raised his rail arms up in the air in defeat.

Arnold gave off his trademark half-smile by his grandparents' interaction. He shook his head and carried his books towards the bus stop. He saw his best friend, Gerald, waiting for him near his stoop.

"What's happening, man?" Gerald said coolly, extending his hand for their handshake.

Arnold returned the gesture. He took a deep breath and shyly stuffed his hands in his pockets as they entered the bus.

"I have been thinking about something," he said hesitantly.

"What about?" said Gerald, taking their seats.

"Helga."

Gerald turned straight to Arnold, giving him his full attention. He raised his eyebrows in anticipation and slowly nodding his head, inciting his best friend to go on.

"Okay," Arnold took a deep breath. "On the top of the FTi tower, she told me that she loves me."

Gerald's mouth dropped straight to the floor.

"Helga? Loves you? Helga loves you?"

Arnold shifted his eyes uncertainly and then nodded, "Yea, I think."

Gerald's following action was anything but supportive as he laughed hysterically.

"What?" Arnold couldn't help but say defensively. "It's a possibility."

"Unlikely," Gerald said. "She hates you, man. Why else would she be torturing you everyday?"

Arnold took that in and slowly nodded his head.

_Yea, why else would she be torturing me all day? She doesn't like me, that's why. Simple. She doesn't like me. In fact, she hates me._

Arnold continued to brainwash himself throughout the bus ride, more than relieved that Helga was not present to mess up his mantra.

As he entered PS 118, his mantra was now arguing with itself, reminding him that Helga could be annoying him just to get his attention.

He turned a corner to reach his locker when he collided with the last girl he really wanted to see.

"Helga?"

Helga groaned in mild pain, "Criminy football head, you would think that you'll expect this by now."

Arnold reached out his palm for her to take. To his surprise, she took his hand, using him to pull herself up. She slowly dusted herself while Arnold picked up the books around them.

"S-sorry," he stammered, handing back her books.

Helga quickly opened them to make sure that they all housed the small homemade shrines she spent hours making and even longer, cutting up her books to house them. Arnold held his breath, expecting her to berate him more so.

She slammed them shut and heaved a, "Fine. Whatever."

"That's – that's it?" Arnold chimed.

"Yea, football head," she sneered. "Are you expecting a medal?"

"N-No. I was thinking that you'll start screaming at me even louder and longer."

"Well, you thought wrong, bucko," she nodded.

She stomped off towards her locker as Arnold glanced back to her perplexed. If she hates him, like what she said before, she would have started screaming and berating and – well, perhaps, threaten him to look where he was going.

Helga reached a reasonable distance until she felt that she couldn't hold in a squeal anymore. She dunked to an empty corridor and starting squealing, pulling out her locket and looking at it with stars in her eyes.

"Oh Arnold! I took to you as my weakness and my strength. The wind to guide the sails of my soul. Granted, I still have tendencies of my former self but it is merely a defense mechanism as I wait for you to get close and whisper the words for my ears longed to hear. A layer is shed, thanks to you. Now we can wait until I have peeled my layers to show you who I really am – as someone you can grow old with."

She paused when she heard the deep nasal breathing coming behind her neck. With one swift fluid movement, her fist met Brainy's nose, making him sink into the floor


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Sorry for the short chapter. this story would be ending in like, two or three chapters. the next story will be longer and, well, more involved. this was just a taste of writing HA fic for me :

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**Chapter Four**

Class was slowly winding down as the clock ticked to the final seconds before lunch. Arnold was more than astonished that no spitballs had landed on his large head. He turned towards Helga, noticing how she stared starry-eyed at her book. She looked up from her book and her eyes met Arnold's.

Instead of the scowl she usually gave him, it was a half-shrug half-smile. She looked towards the board and rolled her eyes casually. She looked down to her desk, picked up a pen and started scribbling something.

Arnold couldn't tear his eyes off from her – until finally, she looked up to him and hissed, "What?"

He quickly faced forward and tried resisting another glance to her. The lunch bell finally rang and instead of rushing out before Helga can trip over him, Arnold told Gerald to go on ahead without him. He waited outside the classroom until the blonde walked out the room.

"Uhm, Helga?" he approached her.

"What football-head?" she said rather impatiently.

"Can – can we talk?"

Helga shot a quick glance and slowly stretched her lips into a smile.

_This is it! This is when he would tell me that he likes me likes me! Okay, Helga old girl, act cool … act normal …_

"It's about what you said," Arnold continued.

_Okay … okay ..._

"You still hate me, right?" Arnold blurted out.

Helga stopped walking and stared at Arnold in disbelief. Was that it? Just to kinda make sure that she hated him? Was this a joke?

"Arnold," she sighed impatiently. "What do you think?"

"That you do?"

"CRIMINY!" she hissed, storming off from him.

Arnold was even more than confused than ever. Why was Helga acting such a girl about it? He shook his head and finally walked towards the cafeteria after Gerald.

Helga slumped into a bench in the school's playground. She still had her arms angrily crossed.

"Something wrong, Helga?" her petite best friend asked, taking a seat next to her.

"No," she answered flatly.

Phoebe simply nodded her head as went back to the book she was reading. Helga could feel her anger building up inside. Until finally she blurted:

"He is so clueless! I mean, criminy, what does a girl have to do? Do I have to practically spell it out for him?"

Arnold watched Helga from the inside as she seemed like she was ranting about something or other. He couldn't help the guilt slowly making its presence known to him. He slowly put everything in his tray and was about to stand up so that he could talk to Helga – properly, he hoped.

"Where are you going?" Gerald watched Arnold getting up.

"To Helga," he casually said.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Helga miserably kept her head down to the concrete below her feet. She wondered if she was better off just confessing to Arnold and didn't bother to take it back. But she remembered the surprise look on his face – she knew he wouldn't get it.

She had just hoped that one day – Arnold would be the one to tell her that he liked her liked her. She remembered how much he avoided Lila with that debacle – and when she retracted her feelings for him, he immediately liked her back.

Helga looked up and spotted Lila surrounded with her adoring fans. Whatever.

What does she seriously have that Helga doesn't?

Oh – yea. Helga had been over this time after time again. And she was not going to change.

Phoebe had taken off to go somewhere, Helga really didn't care. She just wanted to be left alone, wondering how much longer can she pine for Arnold and what if, he would never see her the way she wanted him too.

"Helga?" the soft comforting voice called out to her.

She looked up and saw the football-headed god standing right in front of her.

"What is it now, Arnold?" she exasperatedly replied.

Arnold took a seat next to her and chimed, "No football head?"

"Fine," she grinned shyly, "football head."

Arnold gave a small smile when he started to feel the weird sensations coming to him in huge demanding waves. Suddenly, his heart started to beat faster as sweat subtlety poured from his palms. He quite easily became lost for words, which was never a first with Helga.

"Are you okay?"

"Why you ask?"

"Because," he shrugged, "you don't seem like yourself."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Arnold paused. What was that supposed to mean? Because she wasn't angry or growling or something?

He glanced to her, finding a very much rejected looking Helga Pataki.

His memory quickly flashed back to pre-school. It was a cold and rainy day. He watched the rain dropped to his grandfather's Packard, excited to start the very first day of school. Until he spotted – her.

She walked slowly and sadly. Her face, covered in mud, also told a story that she had her heart broken at such a young age. He waited in his granfather's car until she came near to the school – and that's when he offered her to share his umbrella. He smiled warmly, and she, not knowing what to make of it, looked back at the new boy curiously.

"Hi," he said, zeroing in to the huge bow on top of her head, "I like your bow. It's pink like your pants."

The girl grew up. The bow stayed the same.

"Arnold?" Helga snapped him from his daydream.

He quickly shook his head and looked back to her. Helga raised her eyebrows impatiently, demanding any reaction from him.

"Uhm," he stalled, easily getting confused what to make of this.

It never really clicked to Arnold that Helga had another side – a softer side. Helga reminded Arnold of the dream he had a couple months ago when he met Hilda, who was supposed to be the opposite of Helga.

Or is she?

He found his eyes meeting her very patient and understanding blue irises. He could easily get lost in them as they were filled with intrigue and surprise. Helga had always managed to surprise him anyways, when he least expects it no doubt.

Was he even supposed to be looking at Helga this way? She … was Helga. Nuff said.

"I – I'll talk to you later okay?" Arnold said, just needing to get out there as soon as possible.

Helga nodded, "Okay, fine by me."


End file.
